I was a Business Communication major in college, meaning I’m an amazing businesswoman and communicator, right?
Wrong. Kind of.
Professionally, I’d like to think I excel in these areas. I’ve had some career successes that I can completely attribute to my business communication savvy, but on a personal level, I’m starting to figure some areas of improvement.
Andrew impresses the heck out of me. The fact that he can go operate a 42.5 million dollar aircraft without killing himself or anyone else absolutely astounds me (also holy smokes that’s expensive). The amount of fun things he doesn’t get to do because he has to study emergency procedures, engine systems, and piloty stuff takes so much discipline, and he amazes me for it. I view him as this well oiled machine, a no-maintanence-required, brick wall of efficiency.
Naturally, I’ve been assuming for some time that a person like that doesn’t really need too much emotionally. Certainly Andrew doesn’t need encouragement or help from me; he’s got it all together. Wrong!
Recently I’ve come to find out that I couldn’t be less correct, and there is a sad truth that men are being told from the time they are little.
Being a pilot is hard. Probably. Obviously I don’t know from experience, but there’s so many buttons and gauges and knobs in a cockpit that each have a function, and they know what they all do! It blows my mind and it totally freaks me out. Anyway, it’s stressful and it comes home with you even after you leave the airstation. This, I do know from experience because I witness it on a daily basis.
What I’ve learned recently is two huge things.
1. Just because somebody is strong, and modivated doesn’t mean encouragement, extra consideration and affirmation is not required. Andrew is great, but he’s not a robot. He’s a human that needs to know his wife thinks he’s super cool! As a partial communication major, often I haven’t been the greatest at expressing that sentiment.
2. A lot of men are taught from an early age that being sensitive, emotional or asking for help means they aren’t masculine and they’re weak. To me, this is honestly one of the stupidest things that you could tell a man. Sometimes I think that some men are violent and abusive because they feel like they can’t vent and say what they need to say! (Obviously that’s not the only reason, nor is it an excuse!). However, I’ve never been told I shouldn’t express myself, so you’re damn right I vent! It’s healthy!
If you’re anything like me, you’re often thinking that nice stuff about your guy, but not saying it to him. Recently I’ve learned that’s not a good route if you want him to know how you honestly feel about him. He may not admit it, but that kind of affirmation is so crucial to his spirit.
If you’re anything like My hubs, you’re just going to go through life without ever telling me you want to know this kind of stuff! Why is it bad to ask for what you need? It’s not bad, it’s healthy!
Marriage is so unique because there’s constant growth and change. Honestly I’d get bored if I had it all perfectly figured out.
2 thoughts on “Major Communication Error”
Thank you for saying this. Wives, we absolutely must lift up our husbands every day by letting them know what awesome men they are, and why stop there? Let’s tell our sons and father’s, too. Men need to know that they are respected and admired.
I am amazed that the Bible knew this, that wives need love and husbands need respect. “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Eph 5:33
Your husband has an awesome wife! I love to read your words about how you grow in this marriage. Keep up the great work!