I had a great lead for a great job over the last two weeks. Boston Scientific Spinal Medical Sales. Pretty much exactly the route I wanted to take to start up my professional career in San Diego.
I had two interviews, and was lead to beleive that I had the job “in the bag”.
I got a call today from the hiring manager, and they gave the job to somebody else before I could have my final interview.
I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m now very frustrated, disappointed and stressed. I’ve been out of a job since the beginning of March, and it’s really starting to get to me.
The house is clean, the dogs are walked, the laundry is folded, and I’m running out of things to do.
11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.
13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
14 I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.
This scripture comes to mind during these times where I’m struggling to find purpose, a position and hope for my future.
I need to have faith in God’s plan. Faith that the right opportunity will come at the right time. My hope for myself is that I can completely trust God during this time and beleive in the good that is coming for me.
HOWEVER THIS IS REALLY FREAKING HARD AND I FEEL VERY INSIGNIFICANT RIGHT NOW.
Ugh. One day at a time.
Also, I am beyond happy to be in San Diego again. As much as it’s been frustrating to be out of a job, I’ve been able to once again appreciate the beauty of this place. I’ve been able to revisit the spots I spent as a child, an adolescent, and now as an an adult. I’m truly so lucky to be here, and I truly hope I don’t come off as unappreciative.
I think I just honestly feel insignificant and purposeless without a job. It’s something I put my worth into, and maybe that’s why God isn’t giving me one right now.
Woah, truth. That insight even shocked me. There’s no point in this blog unless I’m honest, so there it is. I feel like a loser without a job.
But, He still thinks I’m important, and significant, and wonderful..and that’s what I need to grasp.