The Struggle & The Plan 

I had a great lead for a great job over the last two weeks. Boston Scientific Spinal Medical Sales. Pretty much exactly the route I wanted to take to start up my professional career in San Diego. 

I had two interviews, and was lead to beleive that I had the job “in the bag”. 

I got a call today from the hiring manager, and they gave the job to somebody else before I could have my final interview. 

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m now very frustrated, disappointed and stressed. I’ve been out of a job since the beginning of March, and it’s really starting to get to me.  

The house is clean, the dogs are walked, the laundry is folded, and I’m running out of things to do. 

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.

13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

14 I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

This scripture comes to mind during these times where I’m struggling to find purpose, a position and hope for my future.

I need to have faith in God’s plan. Faith that the right opportunity will come at the right time. My hope for myself is that I can completely trust God during this time and beleive in the good that is coming for me. 

HOWEVER THIS IS REALLY FREAKING HARD AND I FEEL VERY INSIGNIFICANT RIGHT NOW. 

Ugh. One day at a time. 

Also, I am beyond happy to be in San Diego again. As much as it’s been frustrating to be out of a job, I’ve been able to once again appreciate the beauty of this place. I’ve been able to revisit the spots I spent as a child, an adolescent, and now as an an adult. I’m truly so lucky to be here, and I truly hope I don’t come off as unappreciative. 

I think I just honestly feel insignificant and purposeless without a job. It’s something I put my worth into, and maybe that’s why God isn’t giving me one right now. 

Woah, truth. That insight even shocked me. There’s no point in this blog unless I’m honest, so there it is. I feel like a loser without a job. 

But, He still thinks I’m important, and significant, and wonderful..and that’s what I need to grasp. 

Homeward Bound

Early this week Andrew and I decided that I would begin the long journey across the Southern United States Thursday, and he would head out Friday. Getting a head start on housing is a must! Although reluctant at first to be going alone, I was excited at the chance to get to San Diego as soon as possible. 

I set my alarm for 4:18, and went to sleep.

Andrew woke me up at 5:45 AM.

  “Brookie, it’s 5:45”

       “Ughhhh”

Turns out I set my alarm for 4:30 PM, rookie mistake. We woke up the dogs, dragged them into the backseat of my car (a real puppy paradise adorned with a soft bed and fresh bones) and went on our way.

When I left Florida at 6:00 AM, it was 70 degrees and humid. Naturally I decided to dress for the occasion. Jean shorts, a tee and a light jacket packed just in case. 

At the first gas station stop, I got out of the car to be ripped into by Antarctic sub zero, (I’m being dramatic, it was 37 degrees) bone chilling winds. The dogs jumped out of the car before I could even think, and thus began the first doggie disaster spectacular. 

I can only imagine what this must have looked like from the outside perspective.

9:00 AM tall pale girl, jean shorts and a white tee running around a parking lot chasing a beagle and a blue Heeler in 37 degrees and the rain in Mississippi.

After coercing the dogs back into the car, I scrambled into the trunk shaking from the cold, my face and hands numb, scouring for the first sign of warmth. I grabbed some rolled up sweat pants and threw them on over my shorts. 

I took the dogs over to the garbage ridden 6×6 patch of suicidal grass adjacent to the Kangaroo Gas Station and attempted to encourage the dogs to relieve themselves. Lots of smelling, not much peeing. Onto the next!

The first 6 of the 12 hours driving today it was raining. That was fun. No, actually no. It was not fun at all.

At the next gas stop I found another post-apocalyptic grass patch which seemed to entice peeing. But not without some, let’s call it encouragement. The outside perspective on This one was me in sweat pants at 12:00PM 43 degrees, yelling “PLEASE GO POTTY” while simultaneously spinning in circles and attempting to untangle myself from the two retractable leashes.

Also. uh hi..HAS ANYONE EVER HEARD OF CRUISE CONTROL!? I almost had some major road rage after I got cut off by just about every trucker on the road today, not to mention one truck wheel threw a hubcap right at me (swerving in the rain and no accident, thank you God!).

12 hours total and we made it to San Antonio! After a $75.00 non-refundable pet deposit (robbed) I got into the hotel room and fed the pups.

The hotel had a lot of nice grassy areas, even a designated grassy area just for the dogs! So naturally, Max walked right past that dog designated area and pooped in the freshly planted floral arrangements, right in the front of the hotel. Well done Max, well done.

After slipping in the only mud patch in the hotel’s outside vicinity, I got a hummus plate and a Naked Juice from the hotel and re-fueled a little.

 I think my hotel neighbors think I’m a really strict mother or overly aggressive wife. 

“NO, you can’t have my food!”

“Sit down!”

“You’re not allowed on the couch, or the bed!”

“QUIET!”

So, that was day one. Not a dull moment. I’m appreciative of all the little crazy things, the nutty dogs, and the adventures. Tomorrow we’ll do it all over again.