Listen up! These 8 tips will ensure that you have a stress-free, perfect, happy marriage.
1. Always make sure to….STOP TAKING ADVICE FROM LISTS ONLINE.
What is the obsession with these “How To” posts? Holy smokes! Do you really think that reading through an article for 5 minutes is going to tell you how to have the perfect marriage/relationship/friendship/job/life? While I cannot argue that there’s a touch of good advice in there, it’s not going to do what it promises it will.
Just last week I fell into the “list” trap, and read an article titled, “How you know the guy you’re dating is the guy you need to marry”. Just like anyone would, I read and compared, read and compared. Awesome! Andrew does that, oh and he does that too! Okay, we are looking good!
Oh shoot, Andrew doesn’t do that.
…Does that mean he wasn’t the right guy to marry?
Yeah, because basing my life decisions on a list that someone typed up is a great idea, right? Wrong!
I can tell you why they’re so popular. Fear. Nobody tells you what you’re supposed to do when you get into a relationship. There’s no instructions, there’s no list of rules, there’s no way to ensure you don’t end up another sad statistic.
The divorce rate in America is over 50%. Don’t you think that if it were as simple as reading a list to have a great union, that percentage would be astronomically smaller?
Instead of looking to the internet to give us a cookie cutter layout of how to be the perfect spouse, or friend, or partner, why don’t we instead look to people we are seeing do it in REAL LIFE.
Andrew and I have both been extremely fortunate to have been able to have friendships with, and be mentored by people who have been married and have tremendous wisdom in that area. Real people, not internet lists. It’s been crucial for us, and we’ve learned a lot in the last (almost) year.
However, that does not mean we have the “perfect” marriage, and I am so, so, glad that we don’t. I can’t imagine such a lack of passion that would illicit no bumps in the road.
We fight, we say things we don’t mean, and we feel hopeless sometimes.
BUT, we also feel joy like we never knew we could experience, comfort in the deepest way possible, and love we never thought we would.
I’m so thankful that our marriage is what it is; totally and completely OURS.