I mean, he doesn’t post about me on Facebook, or tag me in his Insta photos. He rarely likes my statuses, or comments on my social media activities.
Yep. I would say all directions point to: –> does not love me.
Yeah right! Andrew is not a huge social media guy, but he shows me he loves me in much more valuable and important ways.
To believe that Andrew doesn’t love me because he’s not telling the whole world about it on some internet medium would be ABSOLUTELY ridiculous.
However, I have struggled with this idea of “value in social media” in more ways than one.
Admittedly, I put too much value into the way I portray myself online. I blocked people from seeing my tagged photos so nobody can see the: double-chintastic, chunky, and unattractive pictures of me. I’ve taken down statuses that didn’t get any likes because I thought it was embarrassing. I won’t like too many pages because I don’t want to look like a weirdo. Who cares!?
Well apparently I do.
I have gotten so wrapped up in this idea of appearing loved online that I once very conspicuously hinted/coerced Andrew into posting a Woman Crush Wednesday #WCW about me. What a loser I am. Right?
I was filled with excited anticipation as I awaited my #WCW.
I wonder what nice things he’s going to say about me! I wonder what picture he’s going to use!
(It is seriously embarrassing to admit I was this excited about an Instagram post).
And this is what I got…
Let’s take a second to break this down. Andrew LOVES flying and airplanes. Naturally, he chooses an image of me in the aircraft he’s been flying. He put his two loves together! Makes sense. Maybe he’ll blow me away with his caption!
“Woman Crush Wednesday! #dubbyaceedubbya”
The effort in this one is just LEAPING off the page. Thank you Andrew. Thank you for the kind heartfelt words and expression of affection. Oh, wait..
It doesn’t take much research to deduce that he was tasked with posting this, (which he was, haha) and probably wasn’t very enthused to do so (He wasn’t!).
Andrew taught me a really valuable lesson, without even realizing it. To be honest, I feel bad basically forcing Andrew to express himself in a way he didn’t want or need to. He exceeds my needs in every way, and there was no reason to ask him to put up a post detailing the way he feels about me. The root of my request came from me needing to prove to the world “HEY, I’m loved! Can’t you tell by all these internet posts?” Yeah. Cause that’s real love right there..ha! I don’t need to prove anything. I know what I have, and it’s something amazing! Something I am truly grateful for.
I believe that all of this unspoken pressure to prove I’m cared about, and that everything/everyone loves me online boils down to one thing.
There’s really nothing worse than feeling alone or unwanted. We were made by God for relationships. Unfortunately, we put so much weight on romantic relationships we discredit the compassion and love of our family and friends. Who ever decided that a guy thinking your hot, or a girl wanting to date you made you more or less valuable? Who ever lied to you and told you that being single was a bad thing? There are relationships that can be just as, if not more valuable than romanic ones.
Yes, I get that being married makes me less credible when talking about being single. I honestly get that. But understand, I spent a lot more years single than I ever did married or in a relationship.
You are wanted. You are desperately wanted by the Creator Of The Universe. The breather of stars, the Beginning and the End. When it comes down to it, that’s a lot more valuable than a #ManCrushMonday or #WomanCrushWednesday.
Well, at least for me it is.